Happy Tax Day to my fellow American taxpayers! To celebrate, I have turned to Senator Rand Paul’s annual “Festivus Report” to share just a few examples of how your tax dollars are stewarded by our elected leaders.
Just last year, the federal government awarded a grant of $187,500 to Kent State University to conduct a study verifying that the bond between a child and their pet is beneficial. This three-year study will finally put to rest the question of whether children would be better off without man’s best friend, a question being asked by exactly no one. The grant does not specify what researchers propose that we do if it turns out having pets is bad for mental health. I guess we will have to give them more taxpayer dollars if we want the answer to that question.
Another line item in our national budget includes spending $200,000 to educate Americans about train tracks. Imagine you are approaching railroad tracks and you observe the railroad crossing sign with the flashing lights, the bells, the train whistle, and that crossbar coming down over the road. What is your first reaction? If you answered, “keep driving” then fear no more. The federal government is spending $200,000 this year to educate you that those lights, bells, whistle, sign, and crossbar mean to stop at railroad crossings.
Since 1996, the federal government has given more than $3 million to Northeastern University to fund research into how to overcome steroid abuse. That doesn’t sound like the worst use of taxpayer funds, does it? Well, Northeastern’s method for studying the problem is to inject hamsters with steroids and watch them fight one another. They then inject the rodents with other drugs to see if they can override the effects of the steroids. Rather than trying to counteract the drugs by giving people more drugs, why not just get them to stop taking drugs in the first place? Maybe I should get a research grant to find out.
While I may have been a bit more lighthearted than usual today, know that government waste is a very serious problem. The American people deserve accountability for their tax dollars, and we should demand more oversight.
